Haunting colleration

Today my friend told me how much she loves an album by “Hole” called “Live Through This” and last year (early December, I think, I don’t remember) I came across a song from that album and I didn’t like it at all.

My friend tells me that she doesn’t care what they say about Courtney Love and that she likes her voice, while I agree with her, I still don’t like the album at all, it gives me some negative chills, I’m getting goosebumps.

And today, when she suggested I listen to it, I promised I would and I listened to the song “Violet” and somehow, I don’t know, while I like her vocals and while the music is great and the lyrics are great, I somehow... I don’t know, it gives me some creepy, horrible vibe, I don’t know how to explain it, like I’m currently in a state of war...

I just get goosebumps, my body reacts and I feel really horrible.

I don't want to admit it to my friend because I'd probably make her sad... we barely talk anyway because I keep canceling dates, although I'll see her this week, but again, I'm getting off topic.

What I'm saying is, while in general that's exactly the type of music I listen to, and while the vocals are the most impressive to me and while I appreciate all that and all the effort put into that album, somehow... I don't know, I just feel yuck.

For example, while I can stand listening to “Linkin Park”, “Limp Bizkit” or even “Alice in Chains”, I don't know how I can't...

Her voice is very good, honestly, and I think I can stand it, for example... every part of a song, instrumental, voice, etc... if they were performed separately, I would.

But it was really strange to me when I first heard the song last year by chance, like I recognized it, and when I saw the album art, I just paused and played another song.

And for example... when I was about 11-12 years old, I was watching a series and there was a scene in an episode where a man is sitting on his bed in his bedroom and talking to a girl, and in the background of the scene you can see posters that are stuck up and that's when I first noticed a "Nirvana" poster in the background, and I felt like I recognized it, except I had never known about that band before.

The fact that there is a pattern that shows that I have a creepiness with things that are interconnected makes me feel diabolical.

And when I hear that famous intro to "Come As You Are", I just get a chill that rips me to pieces.

29/1/2025